Warning: include_once(/hermes/bosnacweb04/bosnacweb04ca/b1760/ipg.travel2cali31472/wp_site_1701830287/wp-content/plugins/wp-super-cache/wp-cache-phase1.php): failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /hermes/bosnacweb04/bosnacweb04ca/b1760/ipg.travel2cali31472/wp_site_1701830287/wp-content/advanced-cache.php on line 22

Warning: include_once(): Failed opening '/hermes/bosnacweb04/bosnacweb04ca/b1760/ipg.travel2cali31472/wp_site_1701830287/wp-content/plugins/wp-super-cache/wp-cache-phase1.php' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/share/php') in /hermes/bosnacweb04/bosnacweb04ca/b1760/ipg.travel2cali31472/wp_site_1701830287/wp-content/advanced-cache.php on line 22
Seeing Through Negative Self Talk and Beliefs – Custom Self Care
Home Stress Management Seeing Through Negative Self Talk and Beliefs

Seeing Through Negative Self Talk and Beliefs

0
Seeing Through Negative Self Talk and Beliefs

Live Guided Nondual Meditation by Michael Taft

Streamed live on Jan 13, 2022

Hey everybody! Welcome to tonight’s guided meditation, guided nondual meditation. Let’s begin right away. Okay, let’s start meditating right out of the gate. So what I want you to do is to take your meditation posture. As usual this means to sit up nice and straight. I’m in a chair here at a desk, but if I move the thing there, then I can sit up straight. And what I do is you sit away from the back. Right, so you move forward in the chair just enough that you’re not leaning on the back, but instead sitting up, supporting your back with your back muscles. And then move your legs in such a way that your knees are at least the same level as your hips and hopefully lower. 

You can sit forward enough on the chair your knees will go lower than your hips. Make sure if you’re in a chair that rolls that it doesn’t roll out from under you if you do that. And then you just sit up nice and straight. And you know that last little bit of straight is getting the top most point of your head kind of pulling upward just a tiny bit. And that makes your chin tuck just a tiny bit or your tin chuck depending. And then once you get your spine feeling kind of straight up and down like that, I want you to just wave it a little bit like a young sapling in a fresh rainy breeze, really nice breeze, with some water and some wind. And then gradually settle to that perfect spot where it feels just completely both upright and relaxed. 

Always remembering that this is part of the physical embodiment of realization or at least a concentration of nice collection gatheredness, unification of mind is that it’s both alert and relaxed. So we have our body alert with the upright spine and everything else in the body is relaxed. So that’s how we do that. 

Okay, now I want you to tune in with your own, just how you’re feeling right now. Just tune into your mind, your emotions, your body. Just what’s it like to be you right now. Just tune in for a moment and check in. Check in with yourself. And don’t just focus on one thing, like oh I’m just worried about the keys or whatever. Notice how does your body feel, how’s your emotions feeling, how’s your heart, you know, how’s your heart feeling? Just tune in like this. What’s it like to be you right now. 

And then from here I want you to notice your intention or we could say your motivation. Why are you meditating? Come back to why are you meditating each time. It can be, like you know, a tactical goal like I’m meditating to get better at concentration. Or it can be something very big like a bodhisattva vow – I’m here to repair all of creation; I’m here to bring love and kindness and compassion to all beings. Or it can be something kind of in between like I’m meditating to be a kinder person with an open heart every single day, something like that. Whatever it is for you. Go ahead and think of that now. And really get clear, so it’s not just “oh I’m meditating like brushing my teeth because someone said it’s good for me.” 

And now the next thing we typically do is gather resource, gather resources and that can be the visualizations of deities we do, or visualizations of various objects that symbolize our own pristine awareness, our own rigpa and then we work with that. Tonight I want to do something different. 

So you can sit with your eyes closed again. Normally in nondual practice we sit with our eyes open, but for this part you can close your eyes. And I just want you to spend the next five minutes thinking of things that you’re grateful for. And for each thing that you’re grateful for I want you to actually say out loud, I’m grateful that I had such a nice bike ride today, I’m grateful for the beautiful colors of sunset that I’m seeing out the window right now. And it can be anything at all. The only stipulation is you have to mean it. You have to actually feel grateful. And you can say the same thing over and over if it’s too hard to think of things you’re grateful for. But for the next five minutes we’re just going to do gratitude practice. And you’re going to notice that that’s kind of melting your heart, melting your armor, opening you up, tuning you in. It’s a wonderful practice. So let’s do gratitude practice for five minutes here.

Keep just thinking of things that you feel grateful for and just noticing. You don’t have to think of them fast. Just think of one and just feel that gratitude. Really feel the smile, the warm smile of gratitude and the meltiness of the heart. Let’s keep going.

Okay, good. Now the next thing I want you to do, this is a little harder, but I want it to be a continuation of this heart opening and armor dissolving opening here. And so instead of gratitude now I want us to do forgiveness. So just think of people who you forgive, or things or situations that you forgive and don’t do it with things you’re not ready to forgive, okay. So I don’t want you to get all bound up and distressed, but rather, only situations and people and things that you truly feel ready to forgive. I want you to just again bring it up, think about it and say aloud you know so and so, I forgive you. And then feel the forgiveness. See them in your mind’s eye. Forgive, forgive, forgive and notice your heart relaxing and opening. And of course you can forgive yourself too. So let’s practice some forgiveness here. 

If there’s somebody or something that you can’t forgive all the way, can you forgive them partially, at least a little bit, at least for some things? Let’s clear the decks, our internal system. Let’s clear it entirely of everything that we’re holding on to that we currently have the capacity to forgive so that we’re no longer holding on to that. And so even if there’s something, you know someone who you can’t really forgive yet all the way maybe there’s some of the stuff you can forgive and focus on that. Again this is not about getting wrapped up in the stuff you can’t forgive, but we’re getting nice and heart-melty and staying open and relaxing tension via forgiveness. 

Notice how, as you know we tune into our gratitude and we tune into our forgiveness you might start feeling teary-eyed and your heart really you know wells up. Your heart gets really big. It’s a huge relief to let go of the things we’re holding on to and just allow ourselves to forgive. So this is another way we can gather resource, not only visualizing deities and our own pristine awareness, but also practicing gratitude, practicing forgiveness. That is building our resources, that’s building our resilience, right. The more that we let go like that, the more things that we genuinely are grateful for, the more things people that we generally forgive, the more resource, the more resilience we have available. And you can feel that now, right. You feel quite different after doing that.

Now let’s tune into our shamatha with an object. We’re going to begin doing something with an object on just the breath. And so you’re breathing in and feeling that breathing in sensation  and you’re breathing out and feeling that breathing out sensation. And you can do this with your eyes open, resting as vast spacious awareness and just allowing the sense of the breath to come and go in awareness. If you want to close your eyes and do it sort of the more closed in, focused way that’s okay, but I recommend sitting with your eyes open and just feeling that breath coming and going like a wave in awareness. It’s very pleasant that way.

Again, just resting as vast spacious awareness, feeling the breath wave come and go. But I want you to notice the minute the in-breath the moment, the second the millisecond the in-breath comes to an end. And notice you don’t have to do tight laser beam focus to do that, you just are aware, noticing, noticing, noticing, aware, aware, aware, when does the in-breath end. And same thing as you’re breathing out, breathing out, breathing out, breathing out, when does the out-breath end. And an important caveat here is, don’t manipulate the end of the in-breath or the end of the out-breath so you see it. Right, just wait for it to naturally occur. But make sure you catch the end of the in-breath, end of the out-breath with each breath cycle. 

Now don’t miss a single part of the breath wave. Again you don’t have to drill down. You don’t have to be doing micro focus on this. You’re resting as vast spacious awareness and the feeling of the breath wave just arises in awareness and passes away in awareness. But I want you to be aware of every little moment of that breath wave. Don’t miss any of it and particularly notice the end of the in-breath, particularly notice the end of the out-breath. Those are special emphasis points, but you’re also noticing the rest of the whole breath. So allowing the breath wave to to really be clear in awareness, noticing every little part of it. Let’s do that.

 I want you to sink into this even more deeply. Allowing that breath wave to fill vast spacious awareness. Of course, vast spacious awareness is vast, but that breath wave becomes very, very obvious. Very, very clear and you’re not missing a millisecond of it. And the breath wave is so big it sort of just pushes thoughts out of the way. We’re not on purpose doing that, but the breath wave is so big and so clear, it just kind of dominates the spacious awareness. It’s really very clear in there and you’re particularly aware of the end of the in-breath. you’re particularly aware of the end of the out-breath. And the rest of the time that breath wave, that feeling of the breath rising in the body and the feeling of the breath falling the body is very clear. You’re staying with that. You’re almost resting with it or riding it. Very effortless.

Notice that awareness of the breath does not take any effort. Awareness is already aware. And so the awareness of the breath just is there. Rises in awareness, passes away in awareness without any effort required at all.

Good. Now, with just a slight shift in emphasis, remaining resting as vast spacious awareness, just let go of intentionally being aware of anything or even intentionally doing anything. We’re just resting as vast spacious awareness, already awake, already aware, already vast. There’s nothing to do at all. Now if you find yourself doing something like engaging with a thought, just drop that. If you find yourself trying to meditate, just drop that. If you find yourself trying to do anything at all, that’s doing. Just just drop it. Come back to simply resting. And this is not a sleep kind of resting we’re very, very, very awake but we’re not doing anything at all including following thoughts. So it’s not about sitting and just being distracted because that’s actually a doing, that’s following trains of thought. So if you find yourself following a thought, just drop it.

Now for some people the word ‘drop it’ is too strong. They get involved in a struggle. This is not a struggle. If you’re struggling, drop that. Right, so we can use other words besides drop it. We can just say just ‘let it go,’ we can say just ‘let it be,’ whatever, but we’re not doing. This is total non-doing. Letting go or dropping is not a doing. That’s a relinquishing.

Okay, good. Now we’re going to do something that takes a little bit of effort. You know we’re all already existing buddhas, already existing bodhisattvas. Our pristine awareness is already fully enlightened. There’s nothing to do on that level. On that deep level there’s nothing to do. You’re already wide awake, but often we don’t recognize it, we don’t see it. And so it’s easy for me to sit here and say hey you’re all fully awakened buddhas, we’re all fully awakened buddhas, but you might be thinking yeah, but I don’t see it. Well why don’t we see it? We don’t see it because of our belief system. We don’t see it because we have ideas that we can’t be that and these ideas get in the way because we are fully awakened buddhas. Our thoughts like that have real power to influence our own minds. 

So right now I want you to look at whatever thoughts you have and they’re going to sound like this: I’m not good enough to realize my buddhahood; I’m too broken to realize my buddhahood; I don’t deserve it; I’m too fucked up to ever really notice my own buddhahood; oh I’ve tried for years and nothing works; maybe it works for other people, but I can’t do it. Thoughts like that. I don’t know how it sounds exactly for you and it might be in your own language, or it might you know arise in a really different way, but whatever that is for you like, I’m too broken to ever recognize this buddhahood Michael’s talking about. Let’s pretend that’s the thought, I want to hear that thought in your mind. Bring it up whatever words are the real thought for you and hear those words as empty. Hear those words as just sounds passing through this vast sky of the mind, utterly empty, utterly dissolving, utterly passing, utterly not true. Okay. Most of the time emptiness doesn’t mean things are true or not true. That’s not the point. Even true things can be empty, but in this case it’s also not true. 

So as those thoughts come up, just see them as empty. okay. Any thought that you’re not good enough. Any thought that you’re too broken, any thought that you’re too lost, any thought that you’re too old, any thought that you’re too stupid. Anything like that. We have all kinds of thoughts like this. This is just for other people, I’ve tried too hard and it doesn’t work. All of that. All of these thoughts are completely empty. So I want you right now to bring those up over and over again and see that those thoughts are both empty and not true. 

Remember that because we are already existing fully awakened enlightened beings. You know, Green Taras, Buddhas, Shiva, Shaktis, whatever your belief system, whatever the most sacred, most awake, most compassionate, most loving being is, we are already all that. And so it doesn’t matter what the thoughts are. They can be things like I was abused so much as a child I can never recognize my buddhahood. That thought is empty and it’s not true because the buddhahood is stronger than that. That’s not to negate what happened. It’s not to say it doesn’t count, but in terms of your already existing buddhahood, that can heal all that. So that’s an empty and incorrect thought. I have experienced too much trauma and the trauma blocks everything. It doesn’t block your own buddhahood. That thought is empty and untrue. Notice that now. 

Another one would be I was too much of an addict, I’ve just hurt myself too much, I’m too sick to recognize my own buddhahood. No that’s not true. The Buddha never ever was affected by any of that for even one moment. Your buddhahood is beyond all that. It can help you to heal all that and you can connect with your own already existing enlightenment despite all that. So all the abuse we’ve suffered, all the trauma we’ve suffered, all the terrible things we’ve done to our body, none of that gets in the way of recognizing your buddha nature, right. The buddha nature can recognize itself because the buddha nature was never hurt in any of this.  

The buddha nature is flooding you with acceptance, self-acceptance and confidence and love and kindness at every moment. And the buddha nature is what you really are so even if your physical body is hurt, even if your psychology is hurting, all that, that will be healed and that does not get in the way of recognizing your buddhahood. So notice that those thoughts are empty and untrue, empty and untrue, empty and untrue. Maybe there’s things that can’t be healed, but the Buddha, the already existing buddhahood still recognizes itself beyond all that. So notice the emptiness and not trueness of these thoughts now and release them, let them go. They can no longer block your recognition. 

Good, now let go of that and I want you to just come back to resting in vast spacious awareness. Wide awake, totally clear, utterly effortlessly awake, aware and still. If anything comes up and we get involved in it, we just relax and relinquish that involvement. We remain completely uninvolved with everything. We’re just aware, effortlessly wide awake like a buddha, effortlessly utterly aware. 

Good, now resting as vast spacious awareness, wide awake, utterly clear, I want you to just have the intention for this awakeness to notice itself. There’s nothing to do, you can’t do this, but you can intend it, so just allow awareness to see itself. Allow awareness to be aware of itself and then just rest again. 

Just allowing or intending that awareness be aware of itself. Don’t do anything at all, there’s nothing to do. If you do anything you’ll get in the way. so just allow awareness to be aware of itself. Allow awakeness to see itself and then just rest doing nothing.

What if there’s nothing to change? Just let go of trying to change anything completely. What if there’s nothing to do? Just let go of doing anything now. What if everything is already completely perfect just the way it is? Let it be perfect just the way it is. What if you’re already perfect just the way you are? Just allow yourself to be perfect just the way you are. Resting as vast spacious awareness as the buddha mind. Just resting as clear, crisp, bright awakeness aware of itself doing nothing at all. 

The urge to change something comes up and you grab on, just relax, let go of that, drop it, just come back to relaxation. The urge to hold on to a thought, to do something comes up. Just let go of that thought, don’t do anything, just relax and open and remain open. Naturally, open naturally, awake, utterly effortlessly bright and clear. 

Good, now let this already awake, fully enlightened buddha that you are, beam love and caring and kindness and joy and strength and health and love and beauty and kindness to the whole world. Just allow that. It takes no effort at all because of the power of a buddha. Just let that beautiful energy shine and shine and shine and spread to all beings, all people and animals around you, all people and animals and beings everywhere in the world, everywhere in all worlds, in this universe, everywhere in all worlds, in every universe. Feel that joy and that kindness and that love and that wisdom and clarity and confidence and natural dignity and a sense of regality shine forth touching everyone everywhere including yourself.

All beings everywhere rejoicing, all beings everywhere feeling loved and cared for, all beings everywhere feeling healthy and strong, all beings everywhere feeling safe and secure, all beings everywhere feeling confident and capable. Feel that beaming in all directions now.

Okay good, let’s bring the meditation to a close now, thanking all beings everywhere. Feeling gratitude for everything, feeling forgiveness for everything and just noticing our natural already existing effortlessly present, wide awakeness which is always right there. It’s always right here right now, this buddha awakeness. And just allow your body to move and stretch. Allow yourself to feel comfortable. Have a drink of water as we bring the meditation to an end now.

Dharma Talk

So as you saw tonight we started out with gratitude and forgiveness and as I mentioned at the time, that’s really powerful for building resource, for helping us to open our heart. Meditating with a closed heart with an armored emotional body, armored body. You can do it, but it’s hard. It becomes much easier if we open our heart, if we kind of melt our armor, we kind of relax, right come out of our tortoise shell and open, open, open. So we do our gratitude practice, we do our forgiveness practice, other times we do our deity yoga or whatever, but we want to have more openness than maybe we typically do when walking around in the world. So tonight we did gratitude and forgiveness to help ourselves with that.

And then notice when we did shamatha—we did a dzogchen style shamatha—which, instead of being narrow, is very wide. So you know if you learned how to do let’s say mindfulness in a vipassana tradition, or you’re doing the mind illuminated style shamatha or whatever, it’s very narrow. You keep focusing down, focusing down, focusing down and you’re getting into micro details. And that’s fine, that’s one kind of shamatha. It works, but in the kind of shamatha that I’m showing you tonight, which is a more dzogchen style shamatha, we’re resting wide open. Our eyes are open, awareness is aware, it’s all the way aware in all directions, it’s just resting wide open like it is. We’re not narrowing it and then we’re just letting that breath wave arise in awareness. 

Now notice how different that is than saying I want you to make kind of a flashlight beam out of awareness into this tight attention and you’re noticing the breath with tight attention. And some people say like in TMI it says to do that while still maintaining some openness, but what we’re doing here is different than even maintaining a little openness. We’re mainly just resting in open awareness and instead of kind of efforting to make a beam out of attention and shine it on the body sensations of breathing, rather we’re noticing that the body sensations of breathing are present in awareness already. You don’t have to kind of on purpose make this beam and shine it on those sensations of the breath. They’re just arising already in awareness. That’s how you know it’s there you’re aware of it. There’s nothing to do. You’re already aware of it so we’re not getting into the micro details, but we are staying with the awareness of the breath all the way through the cycle of the breath. You’re not missing any part of the breath cycle. 

The main mistake that people do when they’re trying to do shamatha practice is what I call check the box. So on your list of things to do it says feel the in-breath and so they’re feeling the in-breath and they go, yep felt the in-breath. And then they go and think about their pokemon go snorlaxes, or whatever, or how they’re going to arrange their pokedex until the next breath comes and they’re like, oh there’s the breath again, I feel it, check, now I can go think about my pokedex again or the next pokemon that I want to capture, or whatever. You go off and play with your mind in between because you think, oh I checked the box, I did what I’m supposed to do.

That’s a mistake when we’re doing shamatha, even this very wide, open awareness shamatha where we’re just effortlessly aware of the breath coming and going. You don’t want to check the box. Or to put it a different way, you’re checking the box every moment of the breath. Feeling it now, feeling it now, feeling it now, feeling it now, feeling it now, feeling it now, feeling it now. And then really extra noticing the end of the in-breath, noticing, noticing, there it is. Okay, here comes the out-breath, feeling it now, feeling it now, feeling it now, feeling it now. You know you’re checking the box continuously and then especially here, here comes the end of it, there’s the end of it, boom. Now here comes another in-breath.

So you’re not missing any moment of that breath cycle, but neither are you, the way we’re doing it tonight. Again, there’s many many different kinds of shamatha and there’s no one magic type of shamatha. But anyway, the way we’re doing it tonight, you’re resting as open awareness, noticing you’re already aware of the breath. You don’t have to do anything. There it is. It’s just happening in awareness. Now stay with it, stay with it all the time. All the way on the out breath. All the way on the in-breath. Give a little extra notice on the end of the in-breath, staying with it, staying with a little extra notice on the end of the out-breath. And you’ll find that you’re having quite a focused meditation, right. Not focused narrow, but focused in the sense of you’re really staying with that breath. And it’s not even hard, right. 

And as you’re allowing more and more of that breath sensation to fill awareness, other things like thinking gets really pushed to the side. It’s not that you’re in any way trying to stop thinking or manipulate your thoughts. You’re not doing that at all, but you’re getting so involved in the rising of the breath and the falling of the breath that it’s almost that rising and falling is taking up all of awareness. And it’s kind of pushing the thinking out of the way. So you’ll notice more and more time passes where you’re just all that’s arising in awareness is the breath sensation, right. You’re still seeing the outside world and you’re aware of stuff but there might not be so much thinking going on because it’s kind of getting almost like, there’s not room for it. 

And so that’s how I want you to do shamatha right. If you’ve learned this other way where you’re doing the narrow shamatha that’s fine. Go ahead and do it, but for these non-dual type meditations we’re doing a non-dual tradition sort of shamatha where we’re just allowing the breath to arise in awareness, allowing the breath to fall in awareness, while remaining wide awake like that. While remaining vast and spacious like that. So that’s how I want you to be doing shamantha for these meditations. 

But I also want to say, I just said it briefly, but I’ll say it again. There is no one right way to do shamatha. Shamatha is shamatha. There’s a zillion ways to do it and if one of those ways was so much better than the other ways, because people tried out all the ways of doing shamantha 2000 years ago, 2500 years ago, 3000 years ago. If there was one extra special way that was so much better, it would have taken over a thousand years ago. We’d all know about it and it’d be the only one we do. 

So there is no one right way to do shamatha. That’s just nonsense. However, having said that, the way that we’re doing it, with our eyes open and keeping in vast spacious awareness and not getting narrow just makes it much easier to then move into shamatha without an object and so on. It just makes it easier for what we’re going to do later. But notice that’s different than saying it’s a better kind of shamatha or it’s the right kind of shamatha. It’s just setting us up for the next moves. Plus it’s a great way, it’s fun to do effortless open shamatha. So it’s nice. But I don’t want to claim that somehow the right way or the best way. 

And a corollary to that that is super important, I’ll tell you I’ve been teaching meditation a long time now. Here is the question that I hear so often. I hear this almost every day. And so that you never have to ask this question again, I will say this as clearly as possible. There is no special shamatha object. There is no special shamatha object. There is no special shamatha object. What do I mean? What I mean is in different traditions they’ll be like, oh those stinking dirty losers do shamatha on the breath, but we’re going to do shamatha on visualization and that’s the one true way, that’s the way you get enlightened. Oh no no no, the people who do shamatha on the visualization are stinking dirty losers, but we who do shamatha on this special mantra, we know this is the way you’re going to get enlightened because what you need is the right shamatha object. You need a special shamatha object. People there is no such thing as the special shamatha object. Just let go of that idea forever. It is not the case.

Here’s kind of the implied question in the question when people say what’s the good shamatha object, what they really mean is what shamatha object will get me enlightened and I respect the question. I’m not mocking the question. That’s a totally reasonable question. But the answer is all of them or none of them, because concentration or staying with an object, is just staying with an object and you can do that with any object. So there’s no one that is the right one except the one that works for you.

So to slightly backpedal, let’s say you like doing mantras and you don’t like doing visualizations, well then mantras are better shamatha objects for you because you like them and you’ll do them more. Or let’s say you really love doing shamatha on the breath and you’ve done years of it and you just love that. Well okay then, that’s your shamatha object. Fine, that’s great for you, but it’s not the case that there is one right focus object for every person. Or like there’s a special one that if you’re led into the secret back room and you put a fifty dollar bill in my hands I’ll show you the one right shamatha object. And that’s the real one. shamatha is shamatha is shamatha is shamatha.  They all work. It’s all just resting the mind on an object. Allowing awareness to be aware of that object whatever it is okay.

So stop the search for the special shamatha object or the one right way to do shamatha. Just do your shamatha and allow yourself to rest with it. Again, the way I want you to learn to do it is sort of the normal way in my courses, but also on these youtube meditations is eyes open, awareness resting wide open and just allowing awareness of the breath to come and go. That’s our shamatha with an object. But other times you’ll hear me do it another way. Sometimes we’ll do a visualization. Sometimes we’ll do a mantra. So that’s sort of just another way of doing shamatha. So there’s all these different ways to do shamatha and there’s no one magic object. 

You read some of these books that are on breath awareness and they make it sound like that’s the only thing you can meditate on. And that is just incorrect. You can meditate on anything. It’s very common in meditation traditions to start out meditating on something like a pebble. Go get a pebble, set it in front of you, stare at that thing with your eyes gentle. That’s a totally normal meditation object and it’s not somehow better or worse than the breath. So just let go of this idea that there’s a special object. There isn’t, okay. So that’s my sort of ranty part of the dharma talk.

The other part is, notice that you don’t have to do anything to be aware. This is another thing maybe this is kind of continuing the rant, but on a different topic. What I hear people say a lot is something like I’m struggling to make my awareness vast. Or I’m struggling to notice awareness. You can’t make your awareness vast. It’s already vast. It starts out vast. But what happens is that instead what you’re used to doing is narrowing, narrowing, narrowing and just noticing one little tiny channel, an attention channel out of the whole vastness of awareness. But awareness is always vast. So you’re not making your awareness vast. All you’re doing is relaxing your attention. And you know and if you’ve got a habit of tight attention, you got to just keep letting go, keep letting go, until it relaxes and you notice the awareness that’s already wide awake. So there is no making my awareness vast. Never struggle. Never spend even a second struggling to make your awareness vast. Just let go of narrowing and you’ll notice it’s already panoramic. It’s always been panoramic. 

And then the other one is I’m trying to notice awareness. Now that one is really actually kind of funny because the koan there would be: oh really you’re trying to notice awareness? What’s noticing? The only thing that can possibly be noticing is awareness. Awareness is what notices. So if someone says, or if you are saying I’m struggling to notice awareness. That’s like your dog trying to find its tail. It’s already got it. It already is the tail. The dog includes the tail. The awareness includes the noticing. So just notice the noticing. That’s awareness.

Another way to say the same thing is that awareness is almost the same word as experience. The fact that anything is happening right now at all, that the lights are on in your experience, the fact that you’re having a thought or can feel your body and notice the thought or feel your body. Or the fact that you can hear my voice or see this video or any of that. That’s all awareness. So the hard thing to do is not notice awareness. Awareness is what’s noticing. The hard thing to do is to somehow not notice awareness. So these are some pointers about things people struggle with that you now have permission to entirely let go of. 

Now we also did a lot of psychological work tonight talking about beliefs that get in the way, thoughts that get in the way and so on. And we worked with that a bunch and we’ll continue to work with that over time because that turns out to be a big deal. I just didn’t get into it in the talk tonight, so we’ll come back to that another time.

Join Michael’s mailing list and get notified of new offerings and courses.

Donate to help create more of these videos and more.

Source:Michael W. Taft , deconstructingyourself.com, 2022-07-04 15:07:14,Source Link